How To Do It All

DON'T BE AFRAID TO START AGAIN…

This week I want to talk to you about why you should not be afraid to start again, no matter how old you are. I know that starting over can often feel daunting, but please trust me, age is just a number. 
Sometimes you feel as though you're at the crossroads of life, where everything seems uncertain. But starting again can often be the best decision you ever make, as it's a chance to reinvent and rediscover yourself. Change can be scary, but change can also be thrilling. 
You have to remember that your journey is always yours to shape and that there are no time limits attached. Growth often happens outside of your comfort zone. By challenging yourself, you often discover strengths that you never knew you had.
You therefore have to embrace starting afresh. It’s like writing a new chapter in your life's book and when you take a leap like this, as you often find unexpected joys and opportunities and feel like the universe always seems to have your back. 
Here are some examples: 
- A mature parent of grown-up children, returns to study, proving it's never too late to learn something new, or pursue a degree and follow dreams.- After many years in a very focused business, someone starts a fresh career in something quite different, with renewed energy and purpose.- After retiring after a long career, someone starts painting, writing, learning a new language or musical instrument, or training for their first marathon, inspiring other people along the way.
But while starting again is good, it also comes with challenges, like financial stability, health concerns, or family obligations. Significant life changes need careful consideration. There are also societal expectations for certain milestones by specific ages. Starting over may also overlook the value of sometimes building on existing accomplishments. 
So this week, remember that starting again, regardless of age, offers a chance to reinvent and rediscover yourself. Don't be frightened to begin again; you have the courage and capability to succeed. Watch your journey unfold. You're never alone, as you have lots of people cheering you on the way!

MISTAKES ARE OFTEN SUCCESSES...

This week I want to talk to you about how mistakes are often successes in disguise, although you may wonder how errors can ever be celebrated as successes. However, every mistake sometimes opens a door, which you may have previously not noticed, or overlooked.
Do you ever feel that mistakes may not be the failures you think? Initially, mistakes feel like setbacks, but you eventually notice how blunders redirect focus, or challenge you to think more creatively. They also teach you something invaluable, or help you find solutions, you may not have discovered otherwise. 
It’s fascinating to see how mistakes transform themselves and how the unexpected usually thrives. Often, these lessons also help you develop growth, resilience and insight. Each mistake we make is also a sign of courage. By daring to make mistakes, we embrace our vulnerabilities. 
Here are some famous examples:
- Penicillin was discovered accidentally when Alexander Fleming noticed mould killing bacteria, turning a laboratory mistake into a revolutionary medical breakthrough into the development of antibiotics.- It was a spoiled batch of carbonated water and fruit syrup that accidentally created the original formula for Coca-Cola, which is now a worldwide beverage.- The Post-it Note was born from a failed attempt to make a super-strong adhesive, leading to one of the world’s now most ubiquitous office supplies found everywhere.
However, mistakes aren't always transformative successes. Sometimes, they are simply errors that need rectifying, without yielding groundbreaking results. In many instances, mistakes require time, resources and effort to correct, derailing progress rather than enhancing it. 
Also, not every error leads to innovation, or valuable lessons. Some may also obscure lessons, leading to repeated missteps, or frustration. Viewing mistakes as successes may even encourage complacency, reducing the need for precision in the first place. While learning from errors is vital, not all mistakes provide clear guidance. 
So, this week, next time you make a mistake, remember that some mistakes may lead to unexpected successes, so see them as stepping stones, not stumbling blocks. Imperfections are the basis of triumphs, insights and resilience. I guess that means that making mistakes is therefore integral to success!

YOU CAN'T BE GOOD AT EVERYTHING...

This week, I want to tell you how you can't be good at everything and how you cannot push yourself constantly, always looking for perfection in everything that you do, because that's just exhausting and unrealistic. Life's too short to have unrealistic expectations.
Unfortunately, we always seem to try to do everything, because everything interests us. However, we have to remind ourselves to just focus on the things that we are genuinely passionate about, or which embrace our strengths and limit our weaknesses.
I know that there are areas where we can always do better, but we have to realise that it’s alright sometimes not to do those things or, if we have to do them, to do them less than more and focus instead on doing things where our heart truly lies, rather than always spreading ourselves too thin. 
It's perfectly normal to have limitations—we all do! However, we must remind ourselves it’s alright not to master everything, as we’re only human. We must also remember that this is what makes us unique and different and celebrate each other's strengths. 
Here are some examples:
- Someone might excel at what seems like boring or routine tasks, but struggle with public speaking. Yet this can actually be a strength, as they can focus more on doing things others may not want to do and leave others to be more social or talkative.- Or someone may love one creative pursuit, like writing, but find it hard to do another, like singing, dancing, or acting. But they can then focus their time better, creating things in the background and enjoying watching performances by others, who can do the other things better, instead. - Someone might be an incredible cook, but not be the best baker, so they focus their time on making more savoury dishes and leave the making of desserts to someone else.
But, when you have diverse interests, you sometimes come up with unexpected ideas. Being versatile is advantageous, as competence in many areas often leads to personal or creative thoughts. A broader skill set or perspective also leads to outcomes that may be impossible if you’re only good at one thing.
So, this week, next time you want to be good at everything, just pause and accept what you’re good at and what you’re not good at. At the end of the day, it’s not about being perfect in everything, but about finding happiness and satisfaction in your journey!

NOBODY TELLS A STORY AS WELL AS YOU CAN...

This week, I want to tell you why nobody can tell a story as well as you can, as there’s always a very special and unique feeling about storytelling, especially if it’s about something that has happened to you personally.
Words have a magical way of painting vivid pictures in someone's mind. When you tell a story, your unique perspective and voice will usually shine through in the narrative and you can even sometimes find people hanging onto your every word. 
However, be careful, as when recounting something that has happened to you personally, every time you tell it, you may embellish it a bit more unconsciously each time for dramatic effect, so something is always bigger or smaller, scarier or funnier, or more dramatic generally!
Your words usually allow other people to slip into worlds you create, which is captivating. You can draw people in and make them feel like they are there, or they can even feel like you are speaking to them personally sometimes.
Here are some examples: 
- Remember that time you shared a simple anecdote, but it then felt like something quite epic when you were telling it? That's the power of storytelling, as you can make even the mundane seem quite remarkable.
- Or that time where you told a story that, although simple, was profoundly moving or inspirational to people listening to it and something that they would always remember and associate with you?
- Or do you remember that time when you found that your stories resonated with someone, which may have then left a lasting impression on them, which was quite inspiring and lasted for many years, especially if they heard it when they were children?
But remember, everyone has their own unique storytelling ability. Don’t believe only you can tell a story properly and dismiss other people's narratives. Different voices bring different perspectives and connect with different people, offering different experiences or interpretations. Whilst your voice is distinct, others have equally valuable things to say. 
So this week, remember to keep telling stories because, if they’re personal stories, they’re gifts that only you can give the world. Embrace a storytelling ability, as your storytelling may be something people look forward to hearing and bring joy to others who listen to you!

THE IMPORTANCE OF LAUGHTER…

This week I want to talk to you about the importance of laughter, something we often overlook. Laughter is such a crucial part of life though, as we face daily challenges. It’s a bit like a personal reset button that’s always within your reach.
You know when everything around you seems so serious? Laughter lightens things and reminds us that not everything always needs to be taken so seriously. Simple humour lifts spirits and forms social bonds. Laughter also has health benefits and improves mental well-being, as it reduces stress. 
When we share a laugh with others, it often feels like we have made a connection and developed a shared bond with them. Remember when you watched a comedy with a family member or friend? Those moments create bonds stronger than you realise at the time. 
Even laughter by yourself helps! For example, watching a funny meme, video,  book, or film or reading a funny article or book, shifts your perspective and makes your daily challenges feel much less.
Here are some examples:
- Imagine you are having a tough day, where it’s immediately made brighter by a funny text or email from a friend or, before you know it, you are giggling uncontrollably over a viral cat video. - Imagine a family dinner which is filled with laughter and silly stories, creating unforgettable memories together.- Imagine sharing an inside joke with a colleague, which helps you develop a positive working relationship together.
However, laughter’s impact varies across cultures and people, as it sometimes causes discomfort, since what amuses one person, may upset another. Constant emotional reliance on laughter also sometimes masks deeper issues, or prevents people from developing healthy coping mechanisms. Laughter may also only offer temporary relief from stress or sadness. 
So, this week, if you’re sad, laughter may just be what you need, so embrace it and cherish the funny moments. Whether it’s a shared joke or a funny video, keep laughing. After all, laughter is one of the simplest joys that life offers us, so enjoy it fully!

TRY TO PLEASE EVERYONE AND YOU'LL PLEASE NOBODY...

This week, I want to talk about how, if you always try to please everyone, you'll just please nobody in the end. I’m afraid this is a hard lesson to learn for everybody to learn and is only something you eventually realise through harsh and repetitive experiences over time!
We spend so much time trying to make everyone happy. It always instinctively feels like the right thing to do, even though it’s often exhausting. Yet, no matter what you do, there’s always someone still dissatisfied.  Your intentions may be good, but your ultimate reality is usually quite draining.
It’s like a never-ending cycle of frustration, or disappointment. Most people believe that pleasing others somehow validates them and always ends up well. However, the actual truth hits you very hard, because the more that you try to make everyone happy, the less happy you will usually feel. 
People-pleasing rarely leads to a feeling of genuine satisfaction, as you often just feel your sense of self slowly fading away. Trying to please everyone means pleasing nobody in the end, not even yourself, as you usually spread yourself so thin that you can’t give your best to anything. 
Here are some examples:
- You juggle making all sides of your family happy at family gatherings, but this often just leads to more tension or resentment, that sometimes leaves you feeling as though you shouldn’t have bothered making any effort in the first place.- You always try to balance the needs and wants of your different friends at get-togethers, but in trying to alter yourself to fit in with everyone, you end up losing the real you, which just results in you feeling isolated in the end.- At work, you are constantly switching between people’s different needs and demands, so you end up being overworked and underappreciated, or you just compromise yourself, or your ambitions, during the overall process.
However, being accommodating also shows your understanding, empathy and respect. Learning to adapt broadens perspectives, flexibility and resilience. Genuine compromise also nurtures relationships. While not everyone may be satisfied, your efforts to include everyone’s differing tastes usually leads to people feeling more appreciated.
So, this week, remember that trying to please everyone usuallly leads to dissatisfaction and compromise. Setting boundaries and saying “no” feels difficult at first, but ultimately brings you genuine peace. Stop trying to be everything for everyone, prioritise yourself and live true to who you are. Life’s too short otherwise!

USE IT OR LOSE IT…

This week, I want to talk about how you have to use something or invest in itregularly, or you will lose it. Whatever it is, skills, relationships, or health, unless you give something your regular attention and nurture it, it just withers away. 
Use it or lose it. This phrase is so true for almost everything in life. Skills, opportunities, health, etc. If you don't actively engage in something, you often risk losing things that are important to you. It’s easier to maintain something, than to rebuild it again from scratch.
For example, take learning a new language. You can spend many months learning a new language, but if you don’t keep learning it regularly and let any routine slide, before you know it, you are barely able to string a simple sentence together in that new language anymore. 
Even relationships and friendships aren't immune. Life always gets busy, but connections fade if neglected. So you have to reach out to people whenever you can, even if it’s just sending a quick message asking how someone is. Proactively invest in relationships if you want them there in the future.
Or apply this principle to physical fitness. If you ignore an exercise regime, you quickly find that your energy levels drop, you feel more stressed and you become stiffer and less flexible. If you don't use muscles, they weaken. If you don’t use abilities regularly, they just slip away. 
Other examples are how artistic talents fade without practice, or how musical abilities diminish without play. You must use your talents regularly if you want to keep them sharp; only frequent performance or practice maintains skills. Continuous learning about anything is also important.
Think of how consistent gardening keeps plants healthy and flourishing. If you ignore garden care, weeds overrun it. Or think of how finances or investments require regular attention. If you neglect things, you get into financial difficulties,  but regular check-ins ensure finances grow, or you don’t miss opportunities. 
However, the use it or lose it philosophy isn't universally applicable or accepted. Some skills and relationships sustain themselves, even during dormant periods. For instance, some friendships endure, regardless of time spent apart, and can be rekindled effortlessly when reconnected. Also, recognise people are different. 
And don't underestimate the value of rest. Stepping back often offers fresh perspectives, or allows for a return to something with your renewed energy. A balanced approach also knows that, whilst regular engagement usually helps, it’s not always essential. Pauses can enhance, not just diminish your abilities. 
So, this week, remember how the phrase “use it or lose it" emphasises regularity with anything to keep it alive. However, also remember that some things may still thrive through quiet times and breaks can allow for rest, recharge and reflection - not all aspects of life always require constant attention!

MOTIVATION FIRST REQUIRES ACTION...

This week, I want to talk about how motivation first requires action . Like many people, I genuinely used to believe that motivation was needed first before taking action. But I’ve come to realise over time that it’s actually usually the other way around - motivation kicks in after taking action! 
It’s really empowering knowing this, as you then realise that, when motivation feels elusive, or not in your control, taking action always remains within your control. After taking initial steps, they build your confidence and, as you start seeing progress, that progress then becomes its own motivation for you.
The important thing therefore is just starting something, even if you do not feel fully ready to do it as, once you begin doing something, your motivation for doing it will normally follow, which then provides you with more momentum to keep going. It is self-perpetuating and circular!
Starting to take action about something, even if just in a small way, lights the motivational fire that you often wait for. It’s like a cycle, isn’t it; your action to do something leads to your motivation for doing it, which in turn fuels and propels you to more action. 
Here are some examples:
- People often cannot muster motivation for exercise, even though they know they should be more active, so they make excuses to themselves and others. But just putting on trainers and going for a short walk or run, motivates them to keep going every day, or to just do more.- Starting to read a new book sometimes feels a bit daunting, especially if a long one. But reading just one page usually sparks your interest and curiosity, providing you with the motivation to keep turning pages.- Many people refrain from learning a musical instrument or new language, but practising simple things routinely on a daily basis usually ignites motivation for them to eventually play full songs, or to try conversing with others.
But, whilst action builds momentum, motivation is still a strong foundation, making actions better. Motivation also fuels determination, even if action seems daunting. People driven by internal drive can also frequently find motivation from within themselves, which propels them forward, without needing an external push to start something. 
So, this week, remember that motivation usually follows action and, even taking small steps sparks motivation, fueling more action. Next time you’re waiting for motivation to strike before doing something, try flipping the script and start by just taking a simple step forward. Trust me, motivation will catch you up!

TURN DISASTER INTO AN OPPORTUNITY…

This week I want to talk to you about how you can usually turn a disaster into an opportunity, no matter how  grim things seem sometimes. Don’t worry, we’ve all been there.  Yet, it’s really amazing how a simple change in your perspective and approach can quickly change everything!
As I have said before, life sometimes throws unexpected curveballs your way. It’s not always easy when this happens and your first impulse may just be to panic or despair. However, there is always hope and you can still turn a disaster into an opportunity, if you just know how.
The first thing is to keep calm and not panic (they are actually two different things!). Then you must adjust your perspective consciously and see your disaster as an unscripted opportunity. If you do, it changes everything. Instead of dwelling on what you’ve lost, you begin to see new possibilities. 
Doors you then thought were closed forever, begin to open for you and lead you down new and exciting paths. Each next step, however small, is then a positive step forward. With time and determination, you find a fresh start emerges, which is usally stronger and more fulfilling for you.
Here are some examples:
1. After missing an important bus, train, or flight, you may then find you meet someone personally or professionally, who changes your life forever.2. After a health scare, you may then embrace a healthier lifestyle, which transforms your physical and mental well-being.3. After losing a job, you may then start a small business and turn what seems like financial instability into a fantastic new venture for you.
But the reality sometimes is that not everyone can see possibilities in crisis. Some people find it hard to find the emotional or practical resources needed to go forward sometimes. The narrative of turning disasters into opportunities can also downplay the psychological toll that some events take on people. 
So, this week, try to turn disasters into opportunities. Sometimes, the best opportunities arise just when everything else seems to fall apart. Take a deep breath, look beyond immediate turmoil and tsee things as not the end, but rather a new beginning. Remember, resilience is born in adversity!

YOU CAN HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO…

This week, I want to talk to you about how, contrary to the old adage,  you actually *can* have your cake and eat it too these days and, if you really think about it, the saying, "You can’t have your cake and eat it too," is perhaps now not as right as it once was! 
How can you simultaneously have and eat a cake too. It's just not physically possible, as it’s a contradiction, isn’t it? Perhaps not, as this balance has become increasingly possible these days and we now seem to find ways to balance enjoying pleasures, while still holding onto things. 
For example, technology now lets us work more flexible hours, whilst still allowing us careers and we now have more personal time than before. Or, remote working allows people the chance to live and work more comfortably in more affordable areas, while still maintaining high-paying inner-city jobs.
It's all about finding innovative solutions and being willing to break away from traditional constraints. The current modern era we now live in offers us unprecedented opportunities to defy existing limitations suggested by this old saying. 
Here are some other examples:
- Hybrid cars (which use power from both electric and petrol/diesel sources) now offer both performance and sustainability together, so we can  still have a proper driving experience, as well as having the environmental benefits of reduced emissions, which were a real problem before.- Freelancing for work now allows people to earn a much more stable income, while enjoying the increased freedom to travel and explore the world, previously not practically possible and merging financial security with personal desires.- We now can make much better financial choices that allow for both short-term enjoyment and long-term security, not just having to choose between indulgence and prudence. We can have both, so we can now savour our ‘cake’ and also keep some for later.
However, there are trade-offs. Although we now enjoy more flexible working hours, or working from home, doing this blurs boundaries between personal and professional lives. Also, freelancing offers more freedom, but it lacks job security. Remote work provides cost savings but isolates people from collaboration and networking with others. 
So, this week, remember the saying: "You can't have your cake and eat it too,” is perhaps wrong now as, in today’s world, contradicting things are possible. However, also remember this balance involves sacrifices. Yet, we can now appreciate what life offers us, while still preserving our assets!