DAMNED IF YOU DO AND DAMNED IF YOU DON’T…

This week I want to talk about how sometimes you find yourself in situations where you feel “damned if you do and damned if you don’t”. In some situations, no matter the choice you make, it feels like neither outcome is good and trouble awaits, no matter what you do.

It’s very frustrating sometimes having to navigate situations where consequences feel inevitable. You are often frozen, trying to work out whether it's better to speak and face potential regret, or stay silent and later confront regret of inaction. Both choices always feel like traps, don't they?

Yet, taking action always feels braver, doesn't it? Although there is uncertainty about making some decisions, if we do move forward, we often find unexpected benefits, or at least learn something important for the future? Perhaps courage really lies in making choices, even if all roads seem fraught with pitfalls. 

We sometimes have to accept that discomfort will accompany many decisions we make in life and accept that we cannot predict every outcome, or appreciate that life is an adventure—a journey of choice and consequence, albeit a bit of a perplexing one sometimes.

Here are some examples:

- A great example of this dilemma is you addressing family expectations, or defying them, which you know might cause conflict either way, but either way, peace always seems a bit distant. But sometimes it is better to act than to not act.
- Sometimes you are in a bit of a dilemma, wondering whether to disclose a mistake you have made at work, or whether it's better to keep quiet, knowing that doing either of these things will lead to repercussions. But you have to appreciate that honesty might bring you more respect.
- Sometimes you are in a dilemma as to whether to intervene in a friend's toxic relationship, knowing that intervening could harm your friendship. Yet silence may later lead to regret—either for you or your friend—feeling you did not say something, which you should have done at the time.

Yet not all choices always result in a lose/lose situation. A perceived dilemma may overlook unexpected benefits, potential for growth and positive outcomes. Don’t be paralysed by fear. Even if outcomes are uncertain, cultivate a proactive mindset for growth, over fear of consequences. Perhaps you can take calculated risks?

So this week, next time you face a crossroads, remind yourself that the mere act of choosing holds value. And even if you're damned either way, you may learn to grow or adapt this way. I guess in the end, isn't that all we can ask of ourselves!