TRY TO PLEASE EVERYONE AND YOU'LL PLEASE NOBODY...

This week, I want to talk about how, if you always try to please everyone, you'll just please nobody in the end. I’m afraid this is a hard lesson to learn for everybody to learn and is only something you eventually realise through harsh and repetitive experiences over time!

We spend so much time trying to make everyone happy. It always instinctively feels like the right thing to do, even though it’s often exhausting. Yet, no matter what you do, there’s always someone still dissatisfied.  Your intentions may be good, but your ultimate reality is usually quite draining.

It’s like a never-ending cycle of frustration, or disappointment. Most people believe that pleasing others somehow validates them and always ends up well. However, the actual truth hits you very hard, because the more that you try to make everyone happy, the less happy you will usually feel. 

People-pleasing rarely leads to a feeling of genuine satisfaction, as you often just feel your sense of self slowly fading away. Trying to please everyone means pleasing nobody in the end, not even yourself, as you usually spread yourself so thin that you can’t give your best to anything. 

Here are some examples:

- You juggle making all sides of your family happy at family gatherings, but this often just leads to more tension or resentment, that sometimes leaves you feeling as though you shouldn’t have bothered making any effort in the first place.
- You always try to balance the needs and wants of your different friends at get-togethers, but in trying to alter yourself to fit in with everyone, you end up losing the real you, which just results in you feeling isolated in the end.
- At work, you are constantly switching between people’s different needs and demands, so you end up being overworked and underappreciated, or you just compromise yourself, or your ambitions, during the overall process.

However, being accommodating also shows your understanding, empathy and respect. Learning to adapt broadens perspectives, flexibility and resilience. Genuine compromise also nurtures relationships. While not everyone may be satisfied, your efforts to include everyone’s differing tastes usually leads to people feeling more appreciated.

So, this week, remember that trying to please everyone usuallly leads to dissatisfaction and compromise. Setting boundaries and saying “no” feels difficult at first, but ultimately brings you genuine peace. Stop trying to be everything for everyone, prioritise yourself and live true to who you are. Life’s too short otherwise!