How To Do It All

WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES SOMETIMES…

This week I want to talk to you about how we all make mistakes sometimes. Who hasn’t, none of us are perfect. I’ve come to realise over the years that, not only are mistakes just part of being human, but they’re actually also the moments that teach us the most. 
Do you remember a time when you made a gigantic mistake in public? It felt like the world stopped, didn’t it? But guess what - it didn’t. Funnily enough, mistakes usually lead us to our most profound insights. Each one holds a hidden lesson, just waiting to be uncovered. 
Mistakes sting you initially, but they’re not permanent. Your mistakes don't define you. People are also much more forgiving than you expect. Mistakes are just life’s funny way of teaching you something that nothing else can. It's in these moments that you also gain a much better perspective about things.
There’s a strange power in knowing it’s alright to make a mistake, as it eases the pressure we unconsciously put on ourselves. Mistakes also help you build resilience. They remind you that we’re not perfect; something we often forget. Once you accept that you’re not perfect, you feel more liberated. 
Here are some examples:
- Imagine you overlook a friend's birthday. Although you initially may feel awful, it also reminds you of the importance of maintaining strong relationships with people and being more thoughtful about remembering other people’s birthdays in the future.- Imagine you mess up talking to a group of people. Instead of just dwelling afterwards on what you said wrong, or could have said better, you can learn invaluable lessons from the experience, about what to say or not say in the future.- Imagine you make a financial error and overspend one month. That blunder allows you to develop better budgeting habits in the future, which ultimately leads you to improve your money management skills.
But, whilst it’s true that everyone makes mistakes, saying growth solely only comes from errors overlooks the need for learning. Mistakes are not the only things that lead to profound insights. Don’t overly romanticise, or downplay the complexities of some mistakes. Some mistakes carry severe consequences. 
So, this week, if you find you have made a mistake, remember that you’re not alone. Instead, embrace it, learn from it and move forward with it. Mistakes test us, but they also transform us into who we are!

TWO BRAINS ARE BETTER THAN ONE...

This week, I want to tell you why two brains are always better than one, as when we collaborate with others, our combined thoughts and different perspectives always help us to create better things, including finding solutions to problems we face. 
When you team up with another person, whether personally or professionally, your diverse experiences and perspectives blend together, revealing things that neither of you would have found alone. Every conversation teaches you something and everything usually clicks into place, as different thoughts complement each other, leading to better results. 
Other people have other insights we may never even consider, which then pushes us to think outside of the box. And it’s not only about creating something, or solving problems, as shared thinking with somebody else is also a bonding experience that brings you fulfilment and strengthens relationships.
It’s really fascinating to me how different people’s experiences nearly always enable you to see something you would otherwise miss. Whenever you brainstorm with another person, it feels like you’re unlocking a treasure box of ideas that was already there right in front of you, which you couldn’t see before!
Here are some more practical examples:
- An imaginative designer and a logical business person work together to create something unique, which sells well.- A chef pairs up with a nutritionist and work together to create popular meals that are both delicious and healthy.- A creative entrepreneur pairs up with a person who is more detail-oriented to start up a new business, balancing innovative ideas with efficient operation.
But, while collaboration helps innovation, it can also dilute creativity, due to the need for compromise sometimes, as collective approaches may require consensus. Diverse perspectives can also cause misunderstandings, conflicts and friction, or slow progress, with time wasted reconciling opposing views. Benefits of collaboration may not always outweigh compromises.
So, this week, try to collaborate with other people as much as possible and learn to value other people’s contributions and perspectives. I know that not all collaborations are harmonious or productive, but with two brains working in tandem, there's usually no limit to what you can achieve!

IF IT SEEMS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, IT PROBABLY IS…

This week, I want to talk to you about how, as the saying goes, if something seems too good to be true, it probably is! It seems such common sense when we say this to ourselves afterwards, but we need to remind ourselves of this, before parting with our money.
Have you ever had a lingering doubt about an offer that seems too good to be true? Maybe it was something you really wanted at half price. Or maybe a deal was enticing, with glowing testimonials and flashy images promising incredible things. You may be sceptical, but you’re still tempted. 
Deep down though a voice tells you to take caution and you hesitate. But who doesn’t want a bargain? So, you ignore the red flags. After all, many companies also sometimes offer promotions just to build brand loyalty or clear inventory. 
But this is just how good marketing works, by playing to your emotion, which then overpowers your logic, making you buy things you want, but don’t need. It's a hard lesson to learn, but scepticism is actually your greatest ally sometimes. Trust your other instincts too. Don’t just ignore them. 
Here are some examples:
- Imagine you discover an online seller offering designer clothing at a fraction of the normal price. But when you order things, they arrive as cheap knockoffs.- Or imagine the free vacation you miraculously ‘win’. Hidden fees quickly pile up though, transforming your dream holiday into something that costs you more than you would have paid otherwise normally.- Or imagine investing in a financial scheme promising high returns with no risk. When the organiser vanishes though, your savings do too, leaving you feeling sick.
Many offers that seem too good to be true often are, but please also recognise that there are genuine opportunities out there sometimes. Not every enticing offer is a scam, so adopt a balanced approach. Combining scepticism with open-mindedness helps you avoid missing legitimate bargains. 
So, this week, next time you see an offer which seems too good to be true, remember what I have said and how it’s too easy to get swept away emotionally, but how you must still keep a logical mind. Dreams must always still be grounded in reality!

PUT A SMILE ON YOUR FACE...

This week, I want to talk about why it’s so important to put a smile on your face. I know it probably sounds a cliché, but smiling genuinely makes a difference. When you smile, your mood instantly lifts, and everything around you seems brighter and life a little lighter.
Life usually throws challenges our way, like we’re just lurching from crisis to crisis. It's easy to feel overwhelmed. At these moments, it feels very difficult and fake to smile, especially on really tough days.  However, during these times, it’s essential to constantly remind yourself of the power of smiling. 
You have to find something, no matter how small, that's worth smiling about, whether it’s noticing the sun shining brightly, or just recalling a nice memory. It's really incredible, isn’t it? How can such a small and simple gesture like this shift both your and others’ perspectives? 
For example, have you ever noticed how a smile is contagious? When you smile at someone, they often smile back. Smiling spreads warmth in a second and is a silent way of making others feel special. Smiling at someone, or receiving a smile from someone, is a beautiful human exchange.
Here are some examples:
- Try to start your day every morning with a smile to yourself in the mirror, as not only does it set a positive tone and energise you, you’re then more ready to face whatever the day brings.- Try to always greet colleagues with a smile, as it provides you with a pleasant atmosphere. Or surprise a stranger with a smile, as it turns an ordinary moment into something special to be remembered. - Or if you’re stuck in traffic in the car, try to smile at the driver of the car next to you, or if waiting for a bus, try smiling at another person also waiting, as it eases the mutual tension and may result in a smile back.
But smiling is not a surefire remedy, or cure-all. For some people, the pressure to smile may feel inauthentic. People may smile through politeness or social expectation, rather than from genuine warmth. Relying on smiling may also oversimplify challenges. Focusing on outward expressions, like smiling, sometimes masks true feelings. 
So, this week, try to smile more.  Go on, try it, put a smile on your face and see what happens. Whether it brightens your day, or someone else's, it's worth it. As I heard someone say once, if you see somebody without a smile, give them one of yours!

DO MORE THAN YOU NEED TO....

This week, I want to talk to you about why you should always try to do more than you need to, if you want to achieve anything. Sometimes, you really have to challenge yourself and push yourself beyond what is strictly necessary. if you really want to succeed at something. 
We are often so naturally programmed to do just enough to meet the minimum requirements for anything, so that we often forget our need to always try to do our best, to push further and to do more than we need to do.
Whenever we go above and beyond, we not only impress others, but also show ourselves unconsciously what we are really capable of. By setting higher standards for yourself and doing more than what is expected, you achieve greater success and personal growth than if you had set the bar lower.
I have noticed that when achievers hit the bar set for them, you can raise it higher and higher and they keep hitting it. Yet, when someone doesn’t reach the bar set for them and you lower it, they somehow still don’t hit it, even if you lower it. 
Strange isn't it? This probably has something to do with unconsciously having internal self-belief, or limiting beliefs, whether from work, in school, in relationships, or in any other aspect of life. 
Here are some practical examples of things you can try:
- When setting goals for personal fitness or wellness, challenge yourself to exceed the minimum requirements by pushing past your comfort zone, increasing the intensity or duration of workouts, or making healthier choices in your diet.- Instead of just completing the minimum requirements for a task at home, work or school, try to take on additional tasks that will make a bigger impact on you personally.- In a relationship, try to go the extra mile by surprising your partner with thoughtful gestures, planning special dates, or showing them appreciation and love beyond what is expected.
But, find a balance. One counter-argument is that pushing yourself to do better lead to burnout and exhaustion. It’s also crucial to set realistic goals and boundaries to prevent overwhelming oneself. Constantly striving for perfection and exceeding expectations can result in stress, anxiety, and physical or mental health issues. 
So, this week, don't settle for mediocrity, but instead take on new challenges and constantly push yourself to do better. Remember, the only way to reach new heights is by pushing yourself to do more than you need to and to always go the extra mile!

VERY FEW THINGS ARE REALLY SECRET...

This week I want to talk to you about how very few things are really as secret as you think they are. It’s so important to be aware of this and to think twice before sharing sensitive information, or keeping secrets that could harm you or others if revealed. 
Have you ever thought a secret you keep is completely secure and known only to you? The truth is that very few things are as secret as we think they are. In this digital age of technology and information sharing, it has become increasingly difficult to keep things truly private. 
Whether a personal secret or a private conversation, there’s always a risk of it being exposed or discovered by someone else. Trust is very important, but so is being mindful of the potential consequences of sharing information meant to be confidential.
You may think a diary is a safe place to write down all your deepest secrets, but if a family member finds and reads it, you soon realise very few things are truly as secret as you thought they were.
Here are some other examples: 
- Do you believe your password-protected computer files are secure? If a hacker gains access to your information, you will soon learn that very few things are as secret as you may have hoped.- You may share a private conversation with a close friend, thinking it will stay between you, but when the friend inadvertently mentions it to someone else, you realise very few things are as secret as you had assumed.- Say you are trying to keep a special surprise party a secret from a family member; but if they accidentally see some party planning materials, you then discover how hard it is to keep things truly secret, as you had initially thought.
Whilst it’s true that keeping secrets can be challenging, it does not mean that all secrets are at risk of being exposed. There are still many ways to secure sensitive information and keep it confidential. And just because some secrets have been exposed, doesn’t mean that all secrets are vulnerable.
So, the next time you think you have a secret that is completely safe, please remember what I have said here and how very few things are as completely secret as you think they are. It’s important to take proactive measures to safeguard confidential information. Always stay cautious and mindful!

PHONES ARE DISTRACTION DEVICES…

This week, I want to talk to you about how our phones are really just distraction devices.
 
We all know that feeling, don’t we? You’re at dinner with family or friends and suddenly everyone’s staring at their screens. It’s like the world around becomes secondary and I sometimes wonder what important moments people may be missing out on, because their eyes are glued to their phones.
 
Tell me, have you recently tried going without your phone for a day? It’s really liberating, but it’s also very challenging. Initially, there’s a feeling of isolation and emptiness, but soon, you start filling the void and noticing things around you that you often overlook. 
 
Whenever we seem to feel the slightest hint of boredom, we reach for our phones, forgetting that they have been designed as distraction devices and we are then also just feeding our own addiction and making it harder for ourselves to do without them in the future.
 
It's really strange how such a small gadget can have such a hold over us and pull our attention away from moments we’re in, without us realising. I’ve observed just how much time people spend on their phones, but how much richer real-life interactions become when we’re fully present.
 
Here are some things you can try out and hopefully learn from:
 
 
- Have you ever created any boundaries that work for you personally, like trying a phone-free afternoon one day a week to reflect and focus on personal projects? 
- Or have you ever tried specific methods, as it may be interesting to see how they impacts your focus and interactions?
- Or have you ever implemented any strategies to limit distractions at home, like a family phone-free afternoon at the weekend? 
 
(Good luck with this last one though if you have teenagers - it is like you are depriving them of oxygen!)
 
It may be an interesting experiment to see how people really engage with each other without screens. Try to craft personalised strategies for mindful phone use, balancing connectivity with minimised distractions. I find it helpful to set specific times to check my phone, so I’m not constantly sidelined by notifications. 
 
Although phone-free initiatives seem better for improving focus, they overlook the importance of staying connected and how phones are now vital for emergencies, communication, capturing memories and obtaining information. They also lead to unintended stress for those who use them for managing families, mental health support, or professional obligations.
 
So, this week, remember how mindful use of phones and setting boundaries is good, but also how blanket restrictions cause stress and hinder productivity. Of course, phones have their benefits, but it's about balance, so be conscious of how you use your phone and find ways to be more present!
 

IT'S ALWAYS IN THE LAST PLACE YOU LOOK…

----
This week, I want to talk to you about how, as the adage goes, something is always in the last place that you look for it. It seems a bit obvious, doesn’t it? But  I want to look at this phrase a bit closer here and also from another perspective, as usual!
You've probably heard yourself saying it countless times, perhaps mumbling it while on a search for your keys, wallet, or even glasses perched atop your head. At first, this saying always seems a bit silly. Of course, we stop looking for something once we've found it, so it must always literally be in the 'last place' that we look for it! 
Yet, I think that there is also another deeper meaning to this statement; that we often overlook the obvious and make things more complex for ourselves than they need to be sometimes, or waste time often looking far and wide for answers that are actually already right under our noses.
The truths we seek in life are always much closer to us than we think and simple solutions are often the right ones within reach. For example, how many times have you undertaken extensive searches, whether physically or mentally, only to find what you were looking for there all along? 
Here are some further examples: 
- Imagine you're on a personal search for happiness or fulfilment, trying new hobbies, traveling, or seeking external validation. But you eventually realise that contentment was always within you, so your "search" ends when you look inwards and not outwards, the last "place" you considered.- Imagine you’re trying to solve a tricky puzzle, but nothing works for you and you are becoming increasingly frustrated. But when you slow down and show patience and persistence, your efforts lead to the solution, which then seems so obvious to you.- Imagine you’re searching for a creative solution to a particular problem but, after trying lots of options, the answer then turns out to be the first or simple answer you initially rejected.
But don’t assume the last place you look is where you'll find something, as this might not always be true. It also doesn't account for situations where the sought-after item isn't found at all. Whilst it encourages trust in instincts and simplicity, it may also lead to complacency.
So, this week, remember when you lose something, pause, reflect and look first for the obvious solution. Maybe you'll find that the last place you look is not just about the end of a search, but an opportunity to remind yourself to trust in simplicity of answers and wisdom within!

EVEN PERFECTIONISTS MAKE MISTAKES...

This week I want to talk to you about how even perfectionists sometimes make mistakes and how you can never do something perfectly, so you should not worry if you do not do something perfectly if you know that you've tried your best.
Making mistakes is just part of being human and the way we learn and grow. If you are one of those people who strives for perfection in everything and always wonders why you somehow don't achieve it, this may be a realisation, as neither you nor anyone else is immune to making mistakes.
It's so easy to beat ourselves up when we make a mistake, especially if perfection is our goal. We somehow always tend to hold ourselves to impossibly high standards and when we fall short of our expectations, which is often inevitable, it can be so crushing if we haven't managed our expectations. 
Perfection is just an illusion. No one is perfect. Expecting yourself to be perfect is just setting yourself up for failure. It's so important to always remind ourselves that mistakes we make are not a true reflection of our worth. They are simply a part of the learning process we continually go through in life.
Here are some examples:
- A perfectionist student who aims for straight As on their exams, makes a very simple error on a test and then receives a much lower grade than expected as, despite studying diligently and putting in their best efforts, they still make a mistake.- A perfectionist chef who prides themselves on always serving flawless dishes, accidentally adds too much salt to a soup that they are preparing, despite following a recipe closely and being conscious in their other cooking techniques.- A perfectionist, creative person who spends a lot of time meticulously working on something, realises too late that they have made an error in what they have done earlier, despite their attention to detail and dedication.
But recognise that pressure we put on ourselves to strive for perfection, actually increases the chance of us making errors. Perfectionists also set such high standards that they become much more stressed. So, ironically, perfectionism is counterproductive in the long run and hinders performance. 
So, this week, if you make a mistake, remember that it's alright and use it as an opportunity to learn and improve in what you are doing. Embrace mistakes as learning opportunities to develop resilience and adaptability. Remember, even perfectionists make mistakes!

DO THE WRONG THING TO DO THE RIGHT THING… (part 2 of 2)

This week, I want to continue with my thought from last week and talk to you again about how sometimes you must do the wrong thing to do the right thing. As I said, this is a very difficult concept to wrestle with personally in some situations. This week I want to look at this topic in more depth.
Sometimes, the right choice isn’t immediately obvious and you are faced with making a decision that, at first appears wrong. Yet, deep down, you know that taking the road less travelled by other people can lead to a greater good and positive result that fits in more with your core beliefs.
Life often needs you to make challenging decisions, but you must always first think very carefully and logically about potential consequences and harm and not just act impulsively or emotionally. You find sometimes that doing the "wrong" thing is actually the most ‘right’ thing you can do.
The concept and implications associated with deviating from moral norms and standards, where the wrong thing becomes the right thing is very puzzling and applies to many scenarios in many different contexts. 
Here are some counter-arguments based on examples I talked about last week:
- The idea of potential harm, as actions felt "right" based on their broader context, can still cause harm in the short term. For example, allowing a child to make mistakes may foster independence or resilience, but it can also result in unnecessary harm or distress. - The idea of long-term consequences, especially in withdrawing from personal relationships, as decisions based on the idea that the wrong thing is the right thing to do, may have unintended and adverse long-term consequences for you or others.- The idea of moral relativism, which is the idea that actions that are "wrong" can feel "right" in certain contexts,  where a doctor lying to a patient about their medical condition may prevent immediate stress, but may lead to distrust or poorer health in the long run.
These ideas show the complexity of moral decision-making. You also have to be very careful of subjective bias and deciding what ‘right’ is, as what is felt ‘wrong’ be influenced by personal bias or interests. This subjectivity leads to justifying actions under the disguise of broader justification.
So, this week, remember how the ‘wrong’ thing sometimes becomes the ‘right’ thing. But remember also that context guides you when you make choices and you must always find a way to do things that ultimately gives you a deeper sense of rightness, even if it feels problematic!